Man jitters is a b. My mind is tired so I can't lift up the cookie I heated up for 15 seconds an hour and 1/2 ago, I'm surprised I'm still typing. It's probably hard already anyway. I don't feel so alive tonight, not like some nights. Sometimes I feel like a showman, right now I feel personal.
I am at my weakest when I try too hard. Ahhhhhhh, man there is so much restlessness. Cause I think how I am naturally without worrying and trying too hard is good. I don't want to be forgettable, but that's exactly what I am when I try hard to have it good. But I'm probably already good as is to begin with. At least that's the right thing to type about myself right now, I think.
Truth is I can't sleep most nights. Specially when there is pressure. And right now it's everywhere. One thing I learned from the Frank Lloyd Wright's home tour is compression and release. And while he used it to define space I am using it to define the next few months. There is no reason why space and time shouldn't be interchangeable, or what defines them.
In my timeline I am still in the compression stage. Compression, compressure, pressure preshhhhhhhh...........shfffffffphhhh.... REleassse.... But the "..shffphh" part is not gonna happen for some time. Like toothpaste oozing out of the tube. There is something calming imagining that. But I feel kinda guilty cause that would be wasteful.
Currently listening to Animal Collective's Fireworks. I am feeling this song. If all goes well fireworks will be seen not from the shores of my Lake Michigan this coming fourth. I feel the grip slowly loosening. REleassse.
When I blow my nose with the new Kleenex Virus I just bought, blue spots magically appear on the surface of the tissue. I think that's how they want me to interpret that the virus is leaving my body, through magically appearing blue spots. Problem is I only have allergies, no virus. Pretty sure no virus.
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