As it turns out

As it turns out, It's middle of February and I am sitting outside facing a tiki torch oil lamp, decked in a polo shirt, khakis and brown loafers. Sitting to my right is some chick browsing youtube, watching what seems to be a singing competition. And now my laptop battery is on the halfway mark, ehhhh. I guess it's bout time to just write..

I wish I was back in school. I just realized that I miss it. The pressure, the camaraderie, the learning. I want to get smarter. I remember when I used to complain so much about projects and I psyche myself out thinking that I'm gonna fail, but I never did. Now I am sitting here thinking what else I can do to not fail at this 'having a meaningful job in Hawaii' thing...or at least some traction. How can I gain more traction so that I can get out of the slow lane and get to the fast one? Slow seems to be the story as of late.

I should lead the way to a more light-hearted writing. The beach is frickin gorgeous, as always and forever will be. I've been taking photos and making them into e-postcards recently. Some turned out to be dope.

Check out the rest of them here at my hipster page.

Making sense of it all

I quit smoking for the 2nd time three days ago. I am in the midst of an existential crisis. Misery at it's finest form, triggered by the indifferent lungs and the battle between the idealistic mind and the selfish body.

I'm experiencing the difficulty in working towards the ideal while being comfortable in the meantime. True for everything; the creative reward, the financial alleviation, the cessation of a habit which masks the mind with quick spurts of unbridled relief. There is one flaw in the system: the very tool used to forget is also the same tool that shackles. My diligence is going through rigorous testing. My deepest frustrations lie in waiting.

This is it, though, making this work is the only option for the sanity. Diverting my finances to the more justified necessities, working towards my security is the thought that currently weighs me. The creative, the finances, and the All Things Chill are the three strands. they have to be strengthened and braided tightly. I have my fingers crossed perfectly .

One Day.

All text, just type

Sun rash still on my skin but I can't help it I like the beach a lot. I've been watching this heavy duty paper towel deteriorate the past four months, the one I stuck in between a crack on the wall in the garden where I smoke at night. All weathered but still there, very compact and strong, just sitting idle - i need to take a photograph of it.

I can't wait until the end of June, Weeds will be back on. Nancy Botwin should run for something, cause she's good at getting away with things. If I had half her luck I would be just as reckless. But then again she lives in the world of Showtime and I live in the world of real time. It's kind of amazing how much that show evolved since the first season, I wonder how my life would be different in six seasons?

One half of my industrial design friends in Hawaii left last November to move to San Francisco. I found out last week that he recently just moved to Kansas after less than 6months at SF. Got a job at Coleman designing camping equipments. I reckon that's the kind of job people would move to Kansas for. Despite the tornadoes and endless even land, he's doing something he loves to do...and I presume getting paid damn well for it. Eric, Hawaii misses you, and I am sure you miss Hawaii too, but my hat's off to you for getting the job you want. Keep on keeping on.

Here's for you people, from our good friend, Jack Johnson...

In times like these
In times like those
What will be will be
And so it goes
And it always goes on and on...
On and on it goes

One half of my room mates just got back from Kauai. I just picked him up from the airPT. He can't say enough good things about his adventures over there, and I can't wait to share similar or better adventures when some buddies and I go to Kauai next year. So you people best make it to the islands, you know who you be.

Holy coo coo ca choo Mrs Robinson. My nights are so fast, next thing you know it's eleven o'clock and from then on it's eight hours or less before I wake up. I can actually push it now for half an hour since I bought my vw wabbit. Me likey it much, but damn over four bucks per gallon on gas is way past too much.

I should shower. Peace

Rant

I think I've done a great job keeping things all things chill and nominally professional on this blog. However, right now I am having a Kanye moment so indulge me as I rant...

The ugly part of me shines most when it comes to food. Indecisiveness is a disease! I should've just listened to my inner voice and ordered the damn fried chicken with rice, but no! I had to get all experimental and ordered Thai crispy noodles and spring rolls. Little did I know, them crispy noodles is like eating air. Coupled with the sweet sauce of the the spring rolls, I couldn't help but to get up and order more food. Double stupidity! I still did not get my fried chicken because I just haddd to get the Satay, and after waiting what seemed like a gazillion seconds my appetite is gone. Kaput! Not to mention the Satay sauce was sweet as well, and even worse, peanut buttery. $20 spent, by this time I was not hungry but now fungry and mad at myself for ordering too much. I decided to walk to Safeway to buy bananas and rice. I figured the rice will be the antidote to all the sweetness which I was not feeling, and Bananas are always safe cause it gets me full.

Then comes my laziness. I could not get myself to walk the extra 100 feet and opted to go back up the condo instead. Ah be dumb! I tried eating the Satay again but my taste buds weren't having none of that. The only other thing I had were some cookies from work. Talk about too much sweets. My throat feels icky and I feel like downing a whole can of Epson. Ughhh. Or maybe I'll just down a bottle of Nyquil and knock this less than fulfilling day the eff out.

Oh wait...I think I still have some Ramen noodles. Holy cow!! Hallelujah! My savior is right inside the pantry all along! BRB...

------

I suppose I am feeling better now. So lets get back to the regular programming...

I like asking every first Friday of the month off. It makes me feel all urban to join the festivities downtown. The bars open up and fancy art galleries try to outdo one another but only to be outdone by the random slew of vendors that showcase more personality in their more affordable trade.



I did not really take that many pictures at night. But during the day I feeling all cinematic and photographed a bunch of random things:









Oh shnapps it's already 9:30, I have to wake up at 7, I must shower now.

Da Hood

I noticed another thing about the locals here in HI, they all say the word 'cannot.' None of them can simply just say 'can't,' or 'won't.' I guess it all balances out, it sounds sorta sophisticated to say the whole thing instead of a contraction. And for every da kine out there who talks pidgin there is someone, somewhere, who eloquently says cannot.

I finally took some pics of the new hood. Everything is pretty close to me, bars, groceries, Chinatown, even the state capitol is within a mile.


View from Vineyard and Pali, right around my place.


Safeway and Longs. So overpriced, they take all my money away. But right across the street.


University Plaza, or whatever it's called. Just a little bit past Safeway.


In between downtown and Chinatown there is a fountain. About 4 blocks away.


Somewhere in Maunakea Marketplace, Chinatown.

I'm a little bit frustrated that Longs, the drugstore around my place, will not let me process a film roll and put it into a CD without buying a set of prints. How oppressive is that? They wanna milk me for all my money, and their print machine's color balance is not good at all. Oh well, next time I must bike 2.5 miles to Walgreens or Walmart just so I will not have to pay for crappy prints.

Home

I jumped into the smartphone bandwagon. In many ways it's cool, I just wish the built in camera takes sharper pics. The resolution is so bad that it makes me look like a drunk photographer. Funny thing is they look super fine when looking at them on my Palm Pixi.



This is Roxi. I know her Russian owner Sergei through my Kyrgyztani roommate, Artur. Roxi found this little spot at Makapu Beach last Saturday. She now owns this spot.



The steps taken today both cluttered and cleared my mind. I started off listening to the Soldier song by the Killers. Halfway through the hike I took my headphones off and that's when I heard nature. The birds were gossiping amongst themselves and I really didn't wanna join them so like a respectful citizen of the natural world I gave the birds their space. Soon enough I heard my own voice, "How much of myself does it take to be entirely responsible of my existence in this state of my choosing?" The answer is everything, and everything I am feels good! I am where I wanna be.



Under a tree next to a creek was a perfect spot to chill on top the Makiki Trail. Sometime back then in my childhood this has happened before. It was a glimpse of carefree times that my mind transported to. In a way I am sure there is the underlying search for past decisive moments that still play in my head. Hawaii is full of nature, and this fact easily takes me there.



It didn't take long for another hiker to pass by with her dog which looks very much like Jethro. I couldn't help but to get up to pet the dog. As I did, traces of my best buddy and our camaraderie stung me - then I thought of Chicago. Beyond snow and the lake effect cold Jethro is there and much more, the foundation of how I got here is there.



Different times and places fused within my head and this trail aint even over yet. I put my headphones back on. When Landslide started to play I thought of Joe and Karen, my friends of 16 years. They are going through the passing of their grandma. As homage to their Lula I went in search for a good shot. This photo did not come about while hiking the trail, but it was during my bike home.

Addicted to Poladroid

I totally jinxed myself by posting about my beloved cheap Canon and how much we hang out. The following day after the post I lost him -It sucks big time. In turn I have been taking pics with my 2megapixel phone camera and using Poladroid to add a little spice to the dull quality. Ruby the great have also pulled through and offered to send me her old digital camera. So nice of her, mahalo Rubycubes!



I am in that phase of transitioning, getting used to the ways. Actually got a crazy tan. Here's my arm and leg (actually more like thigh). The pigmentation difference is crazzy.



Art after Dark at the Honolulu Academy of Arts is pretty cool. They have a pretty good selection with some Van Gogh and Picasso among others. I also got to meet some cool people whom I spent a good portion of the night getting a little tipsy. I took this pic when I had just gotten there.



The past Memorial Weekend I went hiking with my roommate Daniel and a few others to Manoa Falls, despite TLC's warning. I Took these pics over there.





Life is good.

My cheap Canon and I, we hang out

If I were Tom Hanks in Castaway, He would be my Wilson. I would just need some solar batteries so that I could keep on hanging out with Canon.

It takes a little bit longer to get some desired effects, but isn't that the story of my current predicament. Take several shots at interviews and one of 'em will eventually turn out good. Like this small wood chip shot in an expansive beach.



I even figured the widescreen setting. Radar was a good model. After throwing him into the ocean and burying his lower body in the sand he was rightfully tired. Radar decided to just chill there and let Canon and I do the work.



Oh whoa whoa sweet Chi of mine...o ya that's the version Guns and Juju sings.



Thank goodness for the ocean, The main protagonist for not worrying life away.

May 2 and a few after

The last blog seems so long ago even though it's only been six days. Since then I have flown to Hawaii, got me a place in downtown Honolulu, and vacationed a bit. Life is good and things are chill. My plans have come into fruition.

I had a layover in Seattle and got to hang out with Ruby for a couple of hours. It's good to see old friends. Good transition spent going into my new locale.

Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams album never ceases to inspire. This pic from Seattle's sculpture park is my in between dreams pic.















My first friends in Hawaii are Canadians on their 21 hour layover to New Zealand. They are going to be farmers there for one year. Best of luck to both of them.

My condo is in downtown Honolulu. I am on the tenth floor, and the view out my window is not bad at all - it's actually a botanic garden. The roommates are pretty cool people too.

It's a good life, I am Giving myself time to exhale. and will be on vacation mode until the end of the week. I am glad Karen made me pinky swear to make sure I unwind for at least five days. As much as I am compelled to start looking for a job now, I think I need this relaxation to keep a good balance.

I forgot how hard this Koko Head Crater hike is. All I remember from the last time I did it were the great photos of the scenery. I snapped this pic during one of the many long breaks I took. I had to push myself for this, hard. My legs were hurting, but it felt good once I made it to the top.










Note to self: ham & cheese is no good before going for a long hike.

Jack Johnson is right, there's no combination of words I can put in the back of a postcard.

More pics on my flickr.

Gallespi and I forgot

I was booted out of my room last night by a visiting grandma, so I slept over my sis. I, in turn, banished  her cats overnight because I didn't feel like sharing a futon with a couple of felines. As soon as the sun came up, Galespi and I forgot started knocking and making weird noises. I took this pic before I let them in and we all shared the futon.



I guess they were decent bed mates.

Evanston, IL

I took this photo last week on my first bike trip of 2010. I am fond of Evanston. There is an art store there, and of course, the private beach spot that others and I used to sneak to. I think out of two handful-sunrises I'd seen, most of them have been in E.



Six Feet Under was such a great series, and this photo reminds me of that. This is a good shot considering it was taken with a 2 megapixel phone camera...ok you got me, I adjusted the exposure and vibrancy in P-shop. Catch ya later E.

307 AM and several minutes after.

Man jitters is a b. My mind is tired so I can't lift up the cookie I heated up for 15 seconds an hour and 1/2 ago, I'm surprised I'm still typing. It's probably hard already anyway. I don't feel so alive tonight, not like some nights. Sometimes I feel like a showman, right now I feel personal.

I am at my weakest when I try too hard. Ahhhhhhh, man there is so much restlessness. Cause I think how I am naturally without worrying and trying too hard is good. I don't want to be forgettable, but that's exactly what I am when I try hard to have it good. But I'm probably already good as is to begin with. At least that's the right thing to type about myself right now, I think.

Truth is I can't sleep most nights. Specially when there is pressure. And right now it's everywhere. One thing I learned from the Frank Lloyd Wright's home tour is compression and release. And while he used it to define space I am using it to define the next few months. There is no reason why space and time shouldn't be interchangeable, or what defines them.

In my timeline I am still in the compression stage. Compression, compressure, pressure preshhhhhhhh...........shfffffffphhhh.... REleassse.... But the "..shffphh" part is not gonna happen for some time. Like toothpaste oozing out of the tube. There is something calming imagining that. But I feel kinda guilty cause that would be wasteful.

Currently listening to Animal Collective's Fireworks. I am feeling this song.  If all goes well fireworks will be seen not from the shores of my Lake Michigan this coming fourth. I feel the grip slowly loosening. REleassse.

When I blow my nose with the new Kleenex Virus I just bought, blue spots magically appear on the surface of the tissue. I think that's how they want me to interpret that the virus is leaving my body, through magically appearing blue spots. Problem is I only have allergies, no virus. Pretty sure no virus.

My Swedish Hero

Pretty good 2 minute film, sorta changes the way I see things. Watch it.

Spring break of the mind

I decided to scrap all my grown up plans for the week and enjoy some Chicago while it's here, because before I know it, the weather is miserable again. Just cause I aint in school don't mean I can't have spring break. So today I went to the Museum of Science and Industry. I must say, it's the most enjoyable museum I've been to in a while.

La ti dah ti da. There is an American named Joe. This is him.


Joe used to dream about fetuses when he was younger, though not quite sure why. Today, his spine tingling dream came back in reality. Now Joe remembers why he dreamed about unborn babies when he saw thisssts (Joe has a lisssp).



Dun. dun. dun. Indeed. Joe decided this is enough, he needs a better experience from this museum. He looked for young, innocent chickssthss.



Just hatched (very pissed that the hatching pics came out bleh!..ry).

Moving on, Joe started imagining that he was a giant. Then all of a sudden it became real. Well sorta, When he found the miniature downtown Chicago.



Then Joe saw butterflies in the form of electronic visualization. Sadly though, even fake butterflies didn't like him - but it played with this lady's hand shadow.



The American didn't realize at first that he was tired and hungry. But as soon as he did, Joe decided to poof on out of the museum. *POOF.

See more fetuses at different stages of development here.

disclaimer: The person and events in this blog is sorta fictitious. Any references to dreams and reality might be purely coincidental, and no American, genetic chicks, or unborn babies were used and abused by this blog entry.

Grant...

It might as well have been the name...when everything was taken for granted. Now here it comes, the eleventh hour of what Grant is, trying to morph into another name. Luck. Hope. Survive.

Relative is a word which the family uses loosely; all is relative, which is about right - only it doesn't work that way - relatively.

RIP Chicago St. Patty's southside parade. Grant never really bothered to join the festivities. And neither will Luck, Hope, or Survive, because the parade is now defunct. But even if it wasn't, Chicago's southside will be far away. So ya, RIP.

Adobe Indesign could have been named Adobe Infrustration, just from personal experience...Grant certainly was...more than relatively.

Them Diesel ads are nice. Who has the plans and who has the balls and who has the story? Who could it be? the purgatory between smart and stupid. Who can concur with just be stupid?, Grant needs to be Sensible.

Daylight Savings Time totally re-screws up the already screwed up sleeping and waking habits. If all goes well, DST will soon "poof" away this coming Fall, along with Grant...and Fall.***Poof!

I woke up hungry

Having a portfolio website has definitely lifted some pressure off this blog. I
feel this can now have more liberty to just be. All things chill is all things chill, and sometimes peanut butter & jelly is all things chill. I have one hour left
before I go to work, sucks to be me.

Can food be designed?...I think so.

It definitely has to be smooth from both the peanut butter and the jelly approach. The bread can have a lil rougher texture. Sometimes when the bread is too soft it sticks to the ceiling of the mouth and that is annoying. Toasting the bread for precisely 49 seconds should do the trick.



There's been a shift in my metabolism lately. Hunger is such a mystery to me.
I don't understand why sometimes when all things should lead to hunger I feel perfectly fine, but sometimes I wake up with blinding headache because of hunger, when the last thing I did was to eat before the eyelids shut down.

isn't wikipedia great? Time to make some money.