Like endless rain into a paper cup...

Today marks the first since relocation that I stayed indoors all day. It's a big deal not to do anything but nothing. Coincidentally, my first day back on the patch after having a smoke everyday for the last four weeks fell on the same day I tried to embrace the little things I didn't foresee when I planned this move. The reshuffling of the mind tactics to fit within the organic formation of variables in order to get closer to the lifestyle I want to lead has been nothing but nails scratching chalkboard inside the mind. It sucks.

I appreciate having to meet people only once or twice then starting an ongoing facebook message conversations with them. One of those buddies congratulated me on becoming supervisor at work after only 2 weeks and proceeded to predict, maybe with pun intended, that eventually I'll be a package designer for the company. I replied by saying that it'll take fifty more steps to even get to that promotion if that position even existed. But who knows? If I got promoted after only 2 weeks then it's not too far fetched that I can climb up to a position which will keep my creative mind afloat in the nearer future. I hope I hope I hope. Maybe if I say that enough in my head it will actually come true.

Craigslist is slower just like everything else in Hawaii. In my utopian world the tangible will be laid back and the cyberworld will be fast paced. I only say this because there's only an average of 1.5 design jobs a day being posted on craigslist, and 60 percent of those are irrelevant to my plans.

I don't know why but I feel like I am experiencing a Lennon/McCartney moment right now, most specifically their the lyrics, "words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup. They stumble while the pass. They slip away across the universe." It's only been ten minutes and I've got a lot written already but which no doubt tomorrow I will edit like hell. Actually scratch the edit part, since I am taking the effort to stop old returning habits sternly then I should afford stumbling blindly into something less then ordinary for me. Yin and yang are my friends so their balance has to be preserved. Yeah no editing.

My friend Vanessa once quoted one of the things I wrote to her during one of our IM sessions. Naturally it was not spell checked. At that time it bothered me that someone quoted a non-intended grammatically flawed words of "wisdom" from me. Now I think I get that, I guess the rawness of things can be liberating sometimes. This feels kinda like when I shaved my head after I diligently went through the process of growing it out and fixing it all the time. After a while you just miss not taking care of it. Getting ready and not having to look at yourself feels pretty free.

Damn six more minutes until my movie is completely downloaded and I don't know what to write about anymore. I guess I can talk about my mom who, on vacation, facebook messaged me to ask that I make an online payment for her because she's having trouble signing into the website halfway across the world...but get this, she tells me she's broke so she asked that I pay with my own money!! fml. Like a good son I did it and immediately messaged her back on how she can repay this, all the while thinking why did I even accepted my mom's friend request after holding out for so long? for no other reason I suppose a part of me misses her. I would kill for some or her cooked meals right now that I used to take for granted back then.

My download is almost over so I'm ups and gone. going going gone.

Home

I jumped into the smartphone bandwagon. In many ways it's cool, I just wish the built in camera takes sharper pics. The resolution is so bad that it makes me look like a drunk photographer. Funny thing is they look super fine when looking at them on my Palm Pixi.



This is Roxi. I know her Russian owner Sergei through my Kyrgyztani roommate, Artur. Roxi found this little spot at Makapu Beach last Saturday. She now owns this spot.



The steps taken today both cluttered and cleared my mind. I started off listening to the Soldier song by the Killers. Halfway through the hike I took my headphones off and that's when I heard nature. The birds were gossiping amongst themselves and I really didn't wanna join them so like a respectful citizen of the natural world I gave the birds their space. Soon enough I heard my own voice, "How much of myself does it take to be entirely responsible of my existence in this state of my choosing?" The answer is everything, and everything I am feels good! I am where I wanna be.



Under a tree next to a creek was a perfect spot to chill on top the Makiki Trail. Sometime back then in my childhood this has happened before. It was a glimpse of carefree times that my mind transported to. In a way I am sure there is the underlying search for past decisive moments that still play in my head. Hawaii is full of nature, and this fact easily takes me there.



It didn't take long for another hiker to pass by with her dog which looks very much like Jethro. I couldn't help but to get up to pet the dog. As I did, traces of my best buddy and our camaraderie stung me - then I thought of Chicago. Beyond snow and the lake effect cold Jethro is there and much more, the foundation of how I got here is there.



Different times and places fused within my head and this trail aint even over yet. I put my headphones back on. When Landslide started to play I thought of Joe and Karen, my friends of 16 years. They are going through the passing of their grandma. As homage to their Lula I went in search for a good shot. This photo did not come about while hiking the trail, but it was during my bike home.

May 2 and a few after

The last blog seems so long ago even though it's only been six days. Since then I have flown to Hawaii, got me a place in downtown Honolulu, and vacationed a bit. Life is good and things are chill. My plans have come into fruition.

I had a layover in Seattle and got to hang out with Ruby for a couple of hours. It's good to see old friends. Good transition spent going into my new locale.

Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams album never ceases to inspire. This pic from Seattle's sculpture park is my in between dreams pic.















My first friends in Hawaii are Canadians on their 21 hour layover to New Zealand. They are going to be farmers there for one year. Best of luck to both of them.

My condo is in downtown Honolulu. I am on the tenth floor, and the view out my window is not bad at all - it's actually a botanic garden. The roommates are pretty cool people too.

It's a good life, I am Giving myself time to exhale. and will be on vacation mode until the end of the week. I am glad Karen made me pinky swear to make sure I unwind for at least five days. As much as I am compelled to start looking for a job now, I think I need this relaxation to keep a good balance.

I forgot how hard this Koko Head Crater hike is. All I remember from the last time I did it were the great photos of the scenery. I snapped this pic during one of the many long breaks I took. I had to push myself for this, hard. My legs were hurting, but it felt good once I made it to the top.










Note to self: ham & cheese is no good before going for a long hike.

Jack Johnson is right, there's no combination of words I can put in the back of a postcard.

More pics on my flickr.

Sometime Tomorrow...

A plane will land, and getting off it will be me, and some things will be far away.

Jethro will always be my Habebe.


Higgins and Austin, Jeff Park.


O my neph. I hope to see you on our birthdays.


Western and Milwaukee, Bucktown.


If you squint you can see the Sears Tower. It will always be The Sears Tower.


My house on Mango Street.


Later Chicago, I don't know why some call you the second city, you'll always be first to me. Thanks for everything man.

Last Days

For no reason but to be nostalgic.

I was looking through my books, thinking which ones to give away, when I found eight unused film rolls deep behind the dusty stacks. Finding things that I didn't know I have makes my face delightfully grin because it tickles my brain. Count that with the 85 degree weather and my brother-in-law having a court date downtown, these are all the signs I need to use some of those rolls. I decided to shoot what I now call My Last Days series. Me, my Nikkormat, and those 200 iso films - only I still set my camera to 400 speed. I think pushing the film speed gives a vibrant colours (I don't know why I just spelled colors like that, but since I did without thinking to, I decided to keep the spelling).



B-in-law and I looking all scrunched up at cloud gate



 The neo post modern chi



The lush buds

 

More here, and more to come.

Ideals, showmanship and crazy

It has been nearly a year since I felt the pressure cooker known as thesis,
aka Ecopala. Different facets of this project have been posted - they can be viewed here. I was recently chatting with my buddy Erik, from Mexico city.
We were talking about systems and ideals and materials, how design can
be dictated by these things. We are creative people, and he felt that not
many understand what he is aiming to accomplish with the business which
he intends to start. It was a good chat.

I thought of the ideal Hawaiian product cycle I proposed for my thesis. An attempt for a closed loop cycle which hopes to eliminate or lessen shipping
of Hawaii's waste to different compost sites around the world. Instead, finding
ways to turn waste materials into new products.



I received tremendous information from the City Recycling Coordinator of Honolulu. Her willingness to help really helped the outcome of my thesis. But evidently, when I emailed her my final project, her reply seemed to carry the tone of disappointment with how I seem to have been able to simplify Hawaii's waste stream problems with a couple of illustrations. She must have felt that I took a more businesslike, selling approach to a problem that is constant and very real to her.


Beach noodles and old surf boards

I am a dreamer. A designer. Selling my ideas is part of the showmanship.


Chimes and marker holder from military gun shell casings

So during the end of a substantial chat session with Erik, the word "dreamer" had been used countless times. He then said something which tickled my socks...he told me to re-read some of my chat logs and for every time I see
the word dreamer, change it to "crazy person."

Could I be?...ummphhh I think...therefore I am?.....CRAZY!! hahaha.

Wow I didn't realize that "crazy person" is 100% synonymous with "dreamer." Nevertheless, I'll continue to be a designer. The only way to be sane is to be
a dreamer. As long as I don't become a hazard to myself, I don't mind "crazy."


Rubber tires, beach mats, beach noodle and old boogie board

I quoted Bob Marley and said "don't give up the fight," to which Erik replied,
"I'd rather die than to give up the fight." Ha. gotta love being a "dreamer!!"

2.5 Months

That's the amount of time I have left before I relocate out of the windy chi.
I'm excited, anxious...and scared. I stress myself out at night overthinking
how I'm gonna approach my imminent move. All is well in the planning front.
I received my business cards from the mail today. Text is too small but oh
well. I also designed a few teaser post cards today...I need a couple more. Hopefully one of them is bound to impress a prospect employer. I just need
to figure to whom and which prospect employments to send them to.

I think this one reflects my personality well.



I'm not sure if this image is as good as I think it is. but I dig it.



There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be
you in time - it's easy.

- Lennon/McCartney

Is it spring yet, is it spring yet?

Woke up this morning and thought maybe I'll go and take pictures outside.
I just finished a project so I need to start a new one. Damn. little did I know
that shoveling my car out of the parking spot was gonna be such an epic
effort. So I got tired...and didn't take snow pictures.

Instead I reminisced. and thought about my last spring break roadtrip, and
how it was great because it was warm. I'm all about Montrose and Oak St. beach in summertime Chi, but down soufth sounds better right about now.

Port Aransas, TX. They seem so free.


Austin is sort of like Chicago. One block is all souped up while the next one
over is crying for hope. Strategically placed poster makes an interesting pic.



I've always imagined them to be bats, though not too sure, but I think they
are. If you think those are leaves on the trees, look again, freakin Missouri.



I was tweaking when I took this pic. Too much Mountain Dew will help you
drive all night...and sometimes it might make you start gritting your teeth unconsciously. The French Quarter is charming though, tweaking or not.

The double ohs are kaput!

Milestones, mental growth, adieu double ohs! This is a list for posterity’s sake. By no means are the following the crème of the crop or the mold on the peanut butter. I just feel obligated to, cause ya know, I survived the owh ohs.

2000. To be carefree. To be ignorant. To be drawing with a #2 pencil instead
of listening to the preacher’s sermon. FUN. This looks almost antiquated.



2001. My sister has a weird tongue, or maybe I suck at drawing tongues.



2002. Foreshortening, expanding my vocabulary. I learned this in figure drawing (humming the Titanic song). I hate that freaking song!



2003. Twenty Uno. Las Vegas. Credit card debt, damn.



2004. Ahh, my two week lust affair with Yashica. I wish it was longer.



2005. Seriously, what was I smoking?!! Haha. I don’t remember much.



2006. Crash, it won best picture in 2005, and it is also the title of my 12-second flash video in 2006. A lesson in inbetweening.



2007. Hawaii meets Juju. Juju eats tarot pie at McDonalds and taste banana pancakes (we can puh-tend it all the time ♫) for the first time.



2008. Juju meets 3d modeling. Juju finds a new best friend, Vray.



2009. Fresh from the SD card. Juju gets a degree and pays off all his debts. Yess, the oh ohs have been great!



♫ I've got to admit it's getting better ♫ A little better all the time ♫



Shaka always. Much love, prosperity, and fun fun times.

c. 2004

Seems as though out of all the adventures taken, this trip was the biggest catalyst for growing up. Friendships, ambition, and life are all approached
with more sensitivity after. The bigger than life scenery no doubt expanded
my horizons, and in effect, started stripping the adolescence away. Today
has been nostalgic for some reason. I need to go watch TV or something.


Interstate scenic stop, CO. 2004



Canyonlands National Park, UT. 2004

More photos from this trip here, and shaka always.

La Mer

In a perfect fusion of the present and soon, I just purchased my much anticipated one way, non-refundable ticket to my favorite place. Six months away. Oh holy batman yesssss!! now it's for real!



This is exciting...and kinda scary. HBD to me, time to grow up.