Making sense of it all

I quit smoking for the 2nd time three days ago. I am in the midst of an existential crisis. Misery at it's finest form, triggered by the indifferent lungs and the battle between the idealistic mind and the selfish body.

I'm experiencing the difficulty in working towards the ideal while being comfortable in the meantime. True for everything; the creative reward, the financial alleviation, the cessation of a habit which masks the mind with quick spurts of unbridled relief. There is one flaw in the system: the very tool used to forget is also the same tool that shackles. My diligence is going through rigorous testing. My deepest frustrations lie in waiting.

This is it, though, making this work is the only option for the sanity. Diverting my finances to the more justified necessities, working towards my security is the thought that currently weighs me. The creative, the finances, and the All Things Chill are the three strands. they have to be strengthened and braided tightly. I have my fingers crossed perfectly .

One Day.