Waiting

Sometimes I get frustrated because I can't express exactly what's in my head. The little nuances in my new surroundings and how they are affecting me in positive ways are hard to put down in writing. I try to capture it with photography, but it only captures glimpses and the grandeur of it all. I feel like the process is where it's at. That's where the fight is, that's where the continuation comes from. Walk with me here, I wanna try to capture some of this.

The other night after work I walked to the beach. The band at the beach-side lounge was belting out a rendition of Louie Armstrong's What a Wonderful World. I sat down on the bench right where the concrete meets the sand. As I looked up my eyes scanned two giant coconut trees silhouetting against the moonlit sky. I followed them all the way to the top until I reached nothing, at least I thought so, But I just stared anyway. There were actually stars...a lot more than I am used to, some bright and some flickering. I stared at the sky for a while, hearing the waves break and the band in the background. What a moment!? This truly is a wonderful world. An unplanned and poignant surprise playing out right before me. I can't help but to feel alive.

It seems like I've sacrificed comfort, not having a car or that many friends. But the feel-good truth behind this is that I am learning and experiencing. At that bench I sat by myself, and I felt me becoming myself. My chosen path, my time to soak it in, my commitment, it was all there, on that bench with me. I owned this moment.

I've been waiting a long time / For this moment to come / I'm destined / For anything...at all...

Greenday played on my Ipod on my bicycle ride home. Wow I can't believe it took this long for me to notice that song.

Right outside the condo there is a bench where I situated myself and pulled out my pack. A minute into it the blind couple from the fifth floor came hand in hand with their canes and felt for the bench to sit, I moved all the way to the end. I didn't say hello but I am sure they felt me. The lady spoke with her soft voice and told the man how much she enjoyed hearing their next next door neighbor's music in the afternoon, she doesn't know who sings the songs, but the singer has a nice voice. The man exhaled a puff of smoke and told the woman how sure he was that tonight their next door neighbor must have a date with the fiancee based on the clicking of the heels she was wearing. The woman asked if he thinks the neighbor was wearing really high heels, and the man said "Yes dear, for sure."